Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
