Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
