Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
