so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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