ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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