I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
