I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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