Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
