I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
