like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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