Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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