well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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