I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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