um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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