the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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