I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
