wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
