we're blogging at a bar
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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