I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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