absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
