I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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