we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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