Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
