What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
