no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
