so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
