shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Drunk is not a location!
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize