My nipple is on Facebook.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize