Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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