Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
