Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My vagina is officially offended.
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