i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
