My friends, they love my intelligence
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
