She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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