as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
