she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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