didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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