You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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