fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
