porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
