What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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