"it" just moved
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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