I think I won the penis lottery.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
