Where is the hickey?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
