I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
