that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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