Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
