went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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