so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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