I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
