i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
