sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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