I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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