the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
