if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
