Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
