Your tits are I can't wait for
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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