Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
