I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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