I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize