I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
