Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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