i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
