A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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