I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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