it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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