i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
