You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize