There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
