those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
