I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
